“You see someone twice. The first time you pass them on the street and the second time you see them on the news.”
I’d lived in New York City for nearly 3 months and until today I’d been lucky enough to avoid Times Square. For many people, it was a must-see. Me on the other hand, I didn’t like crowds of fanny-pack wearing tourists or obviously bright lights. The sheer volume of street vendors made me nauseated.
Yet, there I was lugging a battered cardboard box through the masses. I’d agreed to play the delivery girl for my best friend’s boyfriend’s brother; I was delivering ten dozen multicolored ‘I <3 NYC’ thongs to a tourist shop. I wish I could say that I was doing it in exchange for a fancy dinner but the only thing I earned for this errand was positive points on the karma scale.
After I made the drop, my plan was to hightail it back to my apartment but I was caught in a tidal wave of people rushing to see the naked cowboy. Yes, Times Square had its very own cowboy. I threw a few elbows and stepped on a few toes but I’d escaped the mob and strolled right on past Naked Cowboy without making eye contact. Seeing people nude in public freaked me out. I would never be able to visit a nude beach. Not that I minded; it sounded like a quick way to earn a sandy buttcrack.
By the time I made it back to the subway I was exhausted. I’d had enough Times Square to last me a lifetime. Even though there were plenty of seats available I chose to stand. I still haven’t gotten over the paranoia that I’d fall asleep and miss my stop. All I wanted to do was get home and curl up in front of the TV. Friday nights were for news and Dateline.
I grabbed the remote and turned on the TV as soon as I walked in. Drat! I’d missed most of the news. I’d only gotten home in time to see the local fluff stories.
“I’m Amy Allison and I’m sad to inform you that a national treasure is missing. Less than an hour ago tourist favorite Naked Cowboy was forcibly taken from the middle of Time Square and shoved into a horse-drawn carriage that was last seen careening into Central Park. “
***THIS CONTENT HAS NOT BEEN EDITED***